Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
