i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
