he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
