She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
