you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
