My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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