So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I AM VODKA MAN
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
