He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
