yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
