Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
