But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
