i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
