yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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