At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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