he thought i was a dude.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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