shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When are your genitals available?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
