i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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