i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
