Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
