I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
