She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
