why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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