Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
