You can't motorboat a personality
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
