He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
