Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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