Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
