I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
