I bet he comes in French.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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