Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
