I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
