If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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