Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
