Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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