I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
