You're completely useless in the revolution.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
