You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
