none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
