I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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