Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
