went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
