Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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