If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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