U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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