I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
