Screwed.edu
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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