Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize