i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
