good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
