Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
