I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
